The Magic Word ‘Adjust’

I am going to write about a word that on the surface is innocuous and everyday. This word “adjust” is a simple word but it has  many ramifications for life and creativity—so it seems to be a promising and mysterious project to write about. 

And because in the last five minutes, I’ve had to make at least 20 adjustments.

Let me explain: I thought I had figured out how to write on my iPad in a Zoom meeting— and at the same time—write on a different application (Pages) on my desktop computer. Then I realized that I could not transfer out of the Zoom meeting to Pages and then back into Zoom to read it back to the group. So now I’m writing on my iPhone in an entirely different app and I’ve turned on the microphone as well to speak into the Notes app.

While I was making all these adjustments I felt like I was driving up a very steep and winding road forgetting where I was headed or where I would end up. And also forgetting that I had a destination in mind while I was overlooking how to get there.

Wow! 

I feel like I’m constantly adjusting my perceptions, my attitude, my way of being in daily life on a moment to moment basis. Even though on the surface, I look like I have a destination in mind, I often am clueless, not knowing how to get there. Most of the time I look like I live a serene, calm and centered life, but that is not true, as I am constantly challenged to be agile enough make adjustments constantly.

Have you seen an equestrian show horse miss the jump by clipping his back hoof against the top of the last hurdle?

Sadly, of course, we hear the anguished sigh of the audience in the stands as the poor horse limps out of the ring. The collective sigh of the audience is a shared moment of disappointment and navigates the tension between spontaneous action and thoughtful contemplation.

The word “adjust” is like being a good dancer, a good ballerina, a good runner, or any number of other occupations that require being tuned to your own inner workings and able to pivot quickly.  This can create great anxiety for me because I feel torn about what movements I should make. Do I act quickly, do I ponder, or meditate? Do I spontaneously dive into something? I need to be agile to make continuous adjustments whether or not I know the outcome.

What seems to be the next right action might need to be spontaneous or or it might need to be thought through carefully. So it is a constant dilemma. When I was much younger I often didn’t think before I did something. Whatever came into my mind I acted upon and then had to bear the consequences of my actions. And the consequences sometimes forced me into doing things that I would not want to do. Belatedly, I realized if I had contemplated some of these actions more thoughtfully, the outcome would be more advantageous.

I am confronted with adjustments in my daily life which require pragmatism, spirituality, practicality, humor, silence, and even laughter. I am fascinated by the wealth of meaning that occurs by picking such a simple word as “adjust” that seems to be everyday and commonplace and watch it unravel into a landscape of vastness that has such generous meanings and nuances.

I am reminded as I read this, that when I paint, adjustments are the driving force of being an artist. And a whole book can be written about the word “adjust” and its relationship with creativity. The artist emerges from the ongoing battle of relentless adjusting like a hero in their own journey. Trying to be an artist won’t make you an artist—but the battle of dealing with continuous adjusting will. 

Being an artist is not about being finished or perfect, as creativity is not concluded or flawless. It parallels the life force—the generative energy drives deep, falling, rising, swiveling, twirling, bounded and unbounded. Delving down into the great mystery and great heights, creativity will expose us to our greatest dreams and our worst nightmares. It makes meaning out of flotsam and jetsam and fools out of our arrogant pretenses. In the beginning of this essay I mentioned that the word “adjustment” is mysterious and indeed it is. The word “adjust” like many things in life seems mundane, but once it is pursued it evolves into one of the inscrutable building blocks of life.